My name is Sarah Lacy and I am a people addict. Thats me in my natural habitat: A dinner party. Look at how much I am soaking it up and loving it.

This is not a bad thing. Unless you take it to the extremes I do. . .

I am such an extreme extrovert, that I pack a million meetings and activities into every day. As soon as I get done with an event, a dinner, a great meeting, anything that made me feel energized, I immediately start thinking about who I can meet up with NEXT.

I cannot leave a party because I am so charged and feel so good talking to people that I dont want it to end.

Dont get me wrong. I hate networking. I hate what do you do? I hate small talk. When Im in this situations, I have big deep conversations. I want to know EVERYTHING. I want to exchange tiny pieces of our soul over drinks or dinner.

An astrologist once told me this is a result of being on my last life. Well, my last required life. I can come back optionally if I want. (That sounds exhausting.) I connect with people deeply and rapidly because I have all of these souls my soul has known over so many lifetimes and this is my sewing up loose ends, farewell tour.

No one wants to leave the stage on their farewell tour.

This served me very well as a journalist. Because the more people you meet, the more people you talk to, the more scoops you are gonna get. I was always a better reporter than a writer.

I could will myself to go to a dinner even at the end of a long day, because I was haunted by the conversation I might miss with the person next to me.

My second book was about entrepreneurs in emerging markets. I spent 42 weeks traveling, most of those days filled with dozens of meetings. It was a great book, because I spent months on the ground meeting hundreds of people in each stop.

It also served me very well as a woman in a male-dominated industry. I am betting this one skill was a huge part of my success: It allowed me to build a formidable network and know everyone.

There are studies that show that when someone is a known quantity, much of the unconscious bias women face in funding, promotions etc falls away. They see her as an actual human.

I think this explains how I was able to raise an oversubscribed $2.5 m seed round for my first company, even though I brought a newborn baby with me to meetings. They all knew me and saw me bringing a baby to a fundraising meeting on maternity leave as a sign of my legendary hustle. Even as a mother, I was gonna start a company. Someone who didnt know me would have seen a mother who was never going to have the commitment or drive to build a company.

But as any addict will tell you, theres a downside. I am missing that normal thing in your brain that says Oh, this was great, but its late, I should get home You crash hard when you get that overcharged. At the end of a conference, I am a husk.

This is one reason that moving much of the year to Palm Springs was so itchy and uncomfortable, but also why it was good for me, my health, relationships and family.

I dont have many friends down there, and its really a place built on solitude, giving everyone space, and boundaries. Palm Springs was where Hollywood stars fled to hide behind high walls and be themselves. That vibe is still there.

Since Im comparatively isolated in Palm Springs, my initial reaction was to binge on friendships and meetings and connections while I was in San Francisco.

But I am trying to do things differently now. Because excesses are never rewarding. It always hits a point where I was like, Ok that fifth lunch that day was too much . . .

Just like with drinking wine or eating sugar, I am trying to be intentional and mindful about it. When I am walking home and feel the urge to ping a dozen friends and see what they are up to, I am trying to ask myself Why?

Do I feel like being out for several more hours?

Or is this just my people-addicted brain chasing a high?

Am I trying to fill a hole in a calendar because of some Tetris-need to fill it, or can it just stay a hole?

Would I feel better if I went home, and had some alone time, got stuff crossed off my to do list and got some sleep?

This is not to say Im turning into a hermit. Rather, I want to focus my people time on people I really want to see or get to know better and being present for that, not filling a schedule to feel like I filled a schedule.

And I need to have time when I am not seeing anyone.

Why? Because its usually in leaning into discomfort that we get growth. Because I suspect part of this mania is not wanting to be alone with myself.

I read recently that the most uncomfortable person to be around is yourself. Of course! You know allllll the worst things you have ever done or thought, in a way you dont with your friends, and you are way nicer to your friends when they screw up than you are to yourself. You can get away with not dealing with a lot of stuff because you are too busy.

One thing Ive started doing in the last few months is scheduling NOTHING the first day Im in San Francisco. Its my time to get settled into my space, rest if Ive had a super early flight, walk around San Francisco for a few hours and just enjoy being here. In my house and my favorite city. Without anything else to distract me from it.

This has the twin benefit of reducing stress if my flight gets canceled or delayed. There is nothing I have to be here for immediately. As Im writing this, I just came off my first 24 hours in town where I spoke to almost no one. I walked, I grocery shopped, I made myself a nice lunch and a nice dinner. I didnt drink any alcohol and didnt eat out. I watched a movie with Paul (virtually, hes in Palm Springs) and went to bed before midnight and woke up with 96% recovery.

Today is very different. I am with people from 11 am until 10 pm or so. After all, I just got done telling you how much this love for connecting with people has been core to my success and happiness, to every great relationship and friendship Ive ever made. I met Paul decades ago at an industry event that I insisted on going to, despite being overbooked and barely getting over walking pneumonia.

The difference is this Sarah Lacy classic day Im about to embark on today is in the middle of two days that arent.

This may sound totally normal and non-revolutionary to you. For me, this is radical. Im still a teenager that things moderation is boring in a lot of ways. My natural instinct is turning everything up to 11.

But positive as loving people, loving meeting people and loving my friends is, theres a dark side to anything that gets too extreme.

Id love to hear what positive attribute you have that you push so far it becomes a bad thing.