OMG heyyyyyyyy!

I got so many amazing emails back from my last newsletter all about the new sense of purpose in this newsletter. [ICYMI.]

I am so glad so many of you are also in this super weird space thats not really a mid-life crisis because those are always depicted as very MASCULINE journeys, but also not just an almost empty nester/pre-menopause story which seems to be the female equivalent of the mid-life crisis in popular culture.

As promised, this week I would have a new name for this always and forever free newsletter, and it would look a little prettier and thats all Im doing to make this in any way professional.

I am selling you nothing. I am charging you nothing. Were just meeting here once a week to figure out this bizarro space and how to be better, richer, happier, healthier, more whole and hopefully more powerful too. (Whatever those adjectives mean to you.)

Im calling this newsletter My Better Half because last week I referred to the phase of life Im in now as the back half of parenting, life, daughtering, friending and working. But back half sounds sad. And I believe we can all have back halves that are better halves.

And why not? Look at all weve achieved in the past four or five decades!! Weve done so much of the hardstuff. Had our first heartbreak; learned math; built a career; gave birth; grieved and survived struggles to give birth or just boldly decided nah.

Weve got no f*cks to give and are playing with the houses money. (In the picture above, Evie is making what she called her rich lady face at the sheer opulence of filling up a candy jar at Lolli&Pops. . .)

Also, Im trying to figure out the good me from the evil shadow me, which may be necessary but bums me out. So Im seeking my better half.

Also its slang for a wife who does all the hard stuff, and I am my own wife who does all the hard stuff and also Im never getting married again. So its me. Nice to meet you. Hi, Im my own better half.

Now to this business of being happier. . .

I have been trying to figure out what bums me out, what makes me happier but also what pain is necessary because it leads to being happier. Comfort is a trap. Just ask the Lotus Eaters. What pain is good pain and what pain is bad pain?

Mostly I want to understand what brings out the best me. Because now that Im not working as many hours, my kids are getting older, and I spend about one-third of my time in another city from my significant other, I have a lot of me to be around.

As I talk to people, reflect, research and stumble my way through this, Ill share what I come up with each week, and hopefully you will too. Lets together carve out half an hour to be self-absorbed and try to be happier each week. We deserve at least that after everyone else we take care of all week, right?

Heres what Im thinking about this morning: Paul once said that in order to feel good about his day he needed to do a little bit of piano practice, French practice, writing, reading and work a full day.

I always loved that, because its so hard to take time for something that doesnt pay you. But when I tried to come up with a similar accounting of a good day for me, the list just felt like more work.

I know that I need to exercise everyday or I dont feel good.

I know that I feel better when I dont drink everyday.

I know that I feel more grounded and a different part of my brain engages when Im making something with my hands.

I know that food is important to me.

And I need to read a lot for work and life.

I also feel better when my space is more organized.

So each week Im going to give an accounting of those things; you are gonna keep me honest. Maybe Ill notice how the lack or excess of them impact me. Maybe you can come up with your own list. You can send it to me every week if you want the same social pressure.

So this past week:

I have worked out four days. This is such a challenge because I am still in Palm Springs and its getting so hot. I cannot wake up super early to work out because I am so d*mn tired. I used to go to Orange Theory Fitness after kid/dog drop off but thats my peak brain power time so thats the time I set aside for consulting work. We have a gym, but I prefer running outside. But this week I managed.

What did I make? We did a sewing sleep over this past weekend, and so Eli and her friend and I got mid-way through making a dress out of an upcycled old sheet. The dress started out with a Palm Springs resort vibe but turned remarkably Bridgerton as it went on.

It was well beyond the three of our skills, but they are both getting ready to go to two weeks of fashion camp this summer, and needed to get their hands on a sewing machine again.

I hope we finish it, but the goal was to get sewing again and we did that, so Im also trying not to pressure myself. I need to hand sew a puffy sleeve cuff and Eli and I will in theory line the bodice and attach and hem the skirt. But she has her dance recital coming up and its the last week of school, so this may be a forever unfinished project Maria Von Trapp meets Bridgerton project.

Best thing I ate? Its early days, but as Im writing this I ate a pretty great brunch I made. Wheat toast with butter, a slice of ham, a soft boiled egg and flakey sea salt with diced cornichons on top. I also had a gorgeous ruby red grapefruit.

We have a grapefruit tree, and Id love to tell you thats where it came from, because I still find it magical that you can grow fruit in your yard in California. But our tree withered and died like the Wicked Witch of the Easts feet when the ruby red slippers are removed. Our gardener clearly feels bad about the whole thing, because he brings me loads of grapefruits from other peoples yards and we just both pretend they are coming from my tree.

What did I organize? My closet,kinda. I finally finished the storage system I built for it, which helped a lot, but I got some under the bed boxes to store alllll of the clothes that Paul and I dont want to toss but dont regularly wear. This closet is a nightmare I keep trying to wake up from. Its just way too small. Midcentury Palm Springs houses were not meant to be lived in all year long.

What did I read? Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire (LOVE!) and All Our Yesterdays by Joel H. Morris (SHE DESERVED THIS!). The sequel to Wicked and a retelling of Lady Macbeth!! Up next: Fareed Zakarias Age of Revolutions.

A moment from the week I want to savor: EVIE IS DONE WITH LOWER SCHOOL! I no longer have kids! She was so cute and did a little salute to the audience after she got her certificate. Everyone was crying in the audience except me. Im so excited to see what greatness comes out of her in Middle School!!!

A moment from the week I never want to experience or think about again: Theres a big one that impacted my kids that is too private for me to share with everyone, but know I saw RED with mama bear rage this week.

This paled in comparison but also the palpable fear of our biggest book event of the year and the books were A WEEK LATE. (They arrived hours before. FFS! None of us needed that!)

Have a great week and tell me what you need that I can help with!