👩‍⚖️ Being harsh with yourself is NOT the answer

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Dear friends,

During the last few months, I have been seeing clients, working with groups, and speaking with friends who are all experiencing different challenges as part of their spiritual journey.

As we discussed these challenges, I realized there was a clear pattern for all of them: they were disappointed with themselves and their dedication to the spiritual process.

They had certain expectations as to things they needed to do (meditate, practice yoga, have spiritual conversations, feel gratitude, feel calm you know the list). When they were not fulfilling these expectations, they felt disappointed in themselves. The disappointment led to psychological discomfort, which led to sadness, frustration, and pain.

And here we are, experiencing the complete opposite of the original intention of our spiritual journey instead of feeling free and open, we feel ashamed and closed.

I'm not trying to say we should not invest time and energy in our spiritual growth of course we should it's just a matter of how we approach these activities.

If we approach them with a demanding, non-compassionate attitude, they could quickly turn into self-criticism and discomfort making your heart retreat and disengage. However, suppose you approach these same activities with self-compassion, openness, and an understanding that different days/weeks/months allow different levels of engagement. In that case, you will have a healthier relationship with your spiritual journey.

You can substitute the word "spirituality" with any other aspect of your life, and it would still offer the same truth your journey of romantic relationships, academic journey, professional journey any path you walk, replace self-criticism with self-compassion and suddenly a vast load is off your back. It's easier to walk your path with this lighter weight.

Yours,
Dr. Itai Ivtzan

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