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Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it - Steve Maraboli
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Dearfriends,
Have you ever worked for a lousy boss? Unfortunately, for many of us, the answer is, "Yes!" Being stuck around negative people who constantly criticize can gradually wear us down until we are questioning our own worth and abilities. In our personal lives, we can often separate ourselves from these people. But at work? In a workplace, we're usually stuck in that hostile environment until we find a different employer.
One of my coaching clients, Michelle, had joined a large accounting firm. She shared that the bosses were friendly people outside of work, but while at work, they were a constant source of negativity and criticism. Some seemed to feel that it was a professional duty to find errors constantly and enthusiastically point them out. Regardless of what Michelle and her team accomplished, the company bosses always pointed out how they could improve.
Getting feedback is important for continuing improvement. But imagine how you would feel if every comment from your boss or management was about what you did wrong. Would you feel empowered to deliver a better product or do a more effective job? Most of us would feel terrible, and Michelle was no exception.
While some of us would find different work, Michelle decided to be more proactive she wanted to change her mindset. In our work together, we began exploring two mindsets: a growth mindset and a fixed one. A fixed mindset makes us feel as if change is impossible. With a fixed mindset, we may think our abilities are static and can't be improved. In contrast, a growth mindset assumes that improvement is possible and welcomes the chance to gain greater skills and knowledge.
A fixed mindset can make you believe any challenge, barrier, or criticism is an existential threat. Our expectations and worldview can be more positive when we have a growth mindset. From the perspective of a growth mindset, criticisms are just feedback that can lead to greater achievements.
When I worked with Michelle on her mindset transformation, we focused on these four steps:
1. Learn to hear your fixed mindset self-talk. When you run into a challenge, what is your internal dialogue saying? Michelle found crucial self-talk that previously kept her stuck in her fixed mindset we then worked on changing that self-talk.
2. Realize that you're in control. You don't have to view criticism as a sign that your abilities are lacking. Instead, you can view challenges and criticism as signs that you need to apply more effort, expand your capabilities, or accept that certain criticism has nothing to do with you and is actually more about the criticizing individual. Michelle did a lot of work around approaching the criticism of her bosses in a way that would not put her down.
3. Start using growth mindset self-talk. Cut off your fixed mindset inner dialogue. Replace it with positive words that support your desire to learn, grow, and improve.
4. Take growth mindset actions. Don't let fixed mindset ideas make you feel inferior. Face your challenges with a positive growth mindset so you can live and learn from whatever life sends your way.
When Michelle took action with these steps, she noticed a change in her work mindset. Criticisms no longer felt personal, and she felt empowered to handle any challenges as they appeared. Soon, her confidence was restored, and she began achieving and enjoying her work again.
Michelle switched to a growth mindset, and now it's your turn. How will you use the growth mindset steps to improve your work and personal life?
Yours,
Dr. Itai Ivtzan
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